5 Step Guide for Teaching Your Newborn Great Sleep Habits

Are you ready for the secret sauce to newborn and infant sleep? 

If we had to guess, you might even be ready to buy it in a Costco size bottle. Well, guess what?!—your first bottle is ON US!

Let’s get a couple of things out of the way before we dive in. First off, this post is a BEAST! If you are a sleep-deprived parent then you might feel overwhelmed with all of the info we are giving out. The good news is we divided it up into 5 steps- just for you! This is your one-stop-shop + tangible tips on ALL THE THINGS when it comes to babies and sleep. Bonus- it’s designed to start during your baby’s first couple of days at home!

Second, we are not official sleep consultants- well at least not yet. But that IS happening in summer 2021, friends! Woohoo!!! Thankfully today, we happen to not only have a wealth of knowledge around the subject, but we also happen to be professional baby whisperers who can help you right now. Bragging on ourselves isn’t always comfortable, but you know what? When you are good at something you should celebrate it! So this is us, being proud of something we do well and sharing what we know with you, no strings attached. Between our personal experiences with our own children, THOUSANDS postpartum overnight hours with little babes, and our natural passion for all things sleep/education for everyone—we seem to have developed our own brand of the perfect magic touch in this area. We feel like we have enough info that we want to whisper it loudly for all families to hear!

So here we go!

WILL I EVER SLEEP AGAIN?

The age-old question…Will I ever sleep again? Yes, you will, we promise. But let’s face the facts- once you become a parent, sleep is never quite the same. You go from around-the-clock feedings, to sleep regressions, to teething, to big kid bed transitions, to littles that just seem to drift into your bed in the middle of the night. Once you’re past all of that, you’ll have teenagers which naturally leaves you sleeping a little lighter and staying up at all hours waiting for them to return safely home. You then have to multiply this process by however many children you choose to have. Sounds daunting, right? Thankfully humans and the tiny humans are adaptable! And you don’t have to just survive the process- it is possible to thrive.

step 1: know the guidelines for safe sleep

Here’s the deal. There are so many opinions and information about infant sleep- what is normal, what is appropriate, and what is safe. Over here, we are always going to follow and teach on AAP sleep recommendations*.

• BACK TO SLEEP FOR ALL SLEEP TIMES (NAPS AND OVERNIGHT) UNTIL A YEAR OLD
  Skin to skin time is always appropriate and encouraged so long as the parent is awake during this time. Once the infant is rolling forward and backward on their own it is appropriate to leave them in the position they choose- but it is suggested that you lay them on their back first and allow them to get into the position they are most comfortable in.

• FIRM, FLAT SURFACE WITH TIGHTLY FITTED SHEETS
  We promise with a good swaddle and some other sleep cues, you can get your baby to rest soundly in a crib or bassinet without using a positioner. When shopping for these items, it is necessary for the term “crib” or “bassinet” to be in the title of the product- this lets you know that it was tested and meets the criteria for the Consumer Product Safety Commission.

PLEASE NOTE- A pack and play is a great first place for infant sleep. Their base is made firm and thin to pass safety standards. We promise your babe doesn’t need a sleep number mattress to sleep soundly so no additional padding is needed. They also typically come with a “sleeper” or “napper” that attaches to the top. This is not considered a flat surface and therefore does not pass CPSC guidelines for safe sleep**. Our favorite recommendations for bassinets are listed for you below.

• KEEP THE FRILLS AT BAY
  Keep soft objects, positioners, loose bedding, bumpers, blankets, toys, or any other objects out of your baby’s sleep space. If you are anything like us, you love a cozy bed with the softest sheets, welcoming pillow and fuzzy blankets. The idea of having your baby sleep in a sparse space can make you feel guilty. It’s ok to feel that way and still choose safe sleep. Thankfully a baby doesn’t need all the frills! Your baby should be sleeping in a completely bare space until approximately a year old. All you need is a really good swaddle technique until your baby is trying to roll and then switch to a wearable blanket. This will make them feel safe and secure while mimicking the snugness of the womb- all while sleeping safely in their bassinet or crib. Our favorite swaddles and sleep sacks are listed below.

• BED-SHARING IS NOT RECOMMENDED
  Let’s preface this by saying that sleep is a necessity for our wellbeing, our physical health and our mental health. At the end of the day (or middle of the night) there might be occasions where this happens whether by accident, out of complete necessity for getting some sleep, or purely by choice as a parent. You can read all of the recommendations and guidelines but you’re still the parent and we ALL do the best we can. If it helps, both of us have dozed off with our own babies during those exhausting fresh postpartum days. Does that make us bad moms? NO. We were tired in every single way…and since we are being completely honest here, we needed more help than we knew how to ask for at the time.
  
  Here are our simple tips if you are purposely avoiding bed-sharing:
  - During night feedings, set an alarm if you feel like you might fall asleep during the feeding.
  - The risk of suffocation is much higher in a chair than in your bed so if you feel like you might doze off, it is much more appropriate to do so in your bed.
  - Enlist your partner’s support in to helping stay awake.
  - Make your bed a safer sleep space by eliminating extra pillows and blankets- make sure your fitted sheets are snug.
  - Don’t bring your baby into bed with you if you have been using alcohol, prescription narcotics, medication that makes your drowsy or dizzy, or recreational substances in any form.

• ROOM SHARE WITH YOUR BABY
  Every parent will have a different answer for when they transition their baby into their own room and crib- again we ALL do the best we can and make parenting decisions based on our specific circumstances. However, the guidelines suggest room sharing (not to be confused with bed sharing) for at least the first 6 months, and up to a year. The main reason for this (among many) is that newborns have a unique capability of matching breathing and heart rate rhythms to yours when they are close to you in their own safe crib or bassinet.

• USE A PACIFIER
  Using a pacifier has noted potential to help prevent SIDS. We also use it as a tool to help with sleeping. This doesn’t mean that every baby will like it and you can also choose to get rid of it before a sentimental attachment forms. If you are breastfeeding, we suggest holding off on using it until your milk has been established and baby is back to birth weight. You may also discuss this with your IBCLC.

All sleep safety guidelines were made in an effort to prevent SIDS- Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and other sleep related deaths. We aim to keep all babies as safe as possible and would love the opportunity to help you navigate these guidelines. Our phones are always on- never hesitate to reach out if you have questions, or if we can help you put any of these into practice.

 “What Products do you recommend for sleep?”
We get this question all of the time!

Our Favorites

SOUND MACHINES- Dohm, Hatch, Rohm, App on phone

SWADDLES- Muslin, Flannel, Halo, Happiest Baby Sleepea Swaddle, Love To Dream, The Ollie Swaddle, Kyte Baby Sleep Sack (6mo+)

PACIFIERS- Various Brands

A DARK ROOM- Blackout Curtains or Shades

BASSINET- Snoo, Chicco Lullago & BabyBjorn

CRIB- Delta Children, Babyletto, Union, Million Dollar Baby & Graco

step 2: start a sleep routine right away

Let’s face it- the first couple days/weeks home are a whirlwind so we suggest starting to use sleep cues the minute you get your bearings. Sleep cues are intentional steps YOU take routinely to signal to your baby that it’s time to sleep. The ideas below are some of our standard cues we use as postpartum doulas, and you’ll notice that they hit on each of the 5 senses (touch, sight, sound, smell, taste). We suggest using the same routine for naps that you would for bedtime- only adding the extra steps you choose for bedtime.

NAPTIME ROUTINE:

• A dark room- hello blackout curtains!

• Swaddling

• Sound machine

• Using the 5 S’s to calm and help baby fall asleep

• Using gentle + comfortable pressure on baby as they drift off

BEDTIME ROUTINE:

All of the above, along with adding one or more of the following-

• Bath time or favorite lotion/massage at bedtime

• Rocking

• Singing or stories

 step 3: know the 5 S’s and how to use them

The 5 S’s are probably one of the most valuable tools we use as postpartum doulas. It’s based on the book, Happiest Baby. It’s also what led to the development of the Snoo which is one of the most elaborate bassinets currently on the market- and for good reason! It literally mimics the 5 S’s (which is mimicking the womb) all while providing a safe space for your baby to sleep.

THE MAGICAL 5 S’s

1. Swaddle

2. Stomach or Side-Lying (postion for baby while holding them- your postion is standing or sitting)

3. Shush

4. Swing/Sway (or we like to squat too)

5. Suck

We like to use all 5 of these techniques simultaneously to help babies fall asleep. Once they begin to steadily drift off, we transfer them to their crib or bassinet while maintaining gentle pressure with our hands around their body to mimic the womb until the baby is in sounder sleep. It takes about 10 minutes for a baby to get in a deep sleep once they are placed in their sleep space. You will begin to notice when they relax into that deeper sleep, and it’s at that time you can gradually relieve pressure.

step 4: recognize when your baby is giving sleepy cues

While you are busy creating sleep cues for your baby- 5 S’s, dark room, swaddle, sound machine, routines- don’t forget to watch for cues your baby is giving you! They are smart little people with a lot to say without ever speaking a word. Out of all of the steps, this one can be a game-changer in the long run.

Babies, even tiny newborns, will communicate when they are tired. Most people think it’s when baby yawns or starts to fuss…when in reality, they were giving off signs that they are ready for sleep long before then. Here’s what to look and listen for:

EARLY SLEEPY CUES- The Sweet Spot!

• Jerky movements- limbs and head

• Gazing

• Red rims- skin around eyelids turning red/pink

  
  REALLY SLEEPY CUES- About to Blow

• Squeaky or grunting sounds

• Pulling/grabbing their face

• Yawning

  
  LATE SLEEPY CUES- Full on Meltdown

• Arching back

• Crying

• Rigid

• Hard to console

Now some of these signals can mean hunger. If you know your baby is full and they are nearing the end of their wake time window, then they are telling you it’s time for sleep.

Soon after you welcome your new little one, you will begin to hear and see their sleepy cues...in the same manner you hear and see their feeding cues. And just like you don’t want to wait to feed a screaming baby, you also don’t want to wait until baby is screaming to begin their routine. Start your sleep routine with your baby as soon as they begin early sleepy cues as they are nearing the end of their wake time window.

step 5: learn age appropriate wake times

Here’s the deal- the best (or the worst) sleep habits begin during the day. GASP! It’s true! 

We always like to say that sleep begets sleep. In other words- the better your baby is napping during the day, the better your baby will sleep at night. The great news is that it’s much easier as parents to teach a baby to sleep during the day when you are more alert than at night when you are groggy and desperate for sleep at 2am...ya know, when your baby is up once again! 

Because of this, we ALWAYS suggest starting the sleep learning process during the day. How do you do this? You use our very handy sleep chart- and not in the way you might expect. Oftentimes parents see this and think that this is the amount of time they need to keep their baby AWAKE. Instead, look at it from a different angle. We want you to look at it and say “Oh, my baby has been up for (x) amount of time, so it’s time to get them ready for their nap.” This small change of perspective makes a significant difference with tired parents!

The times on the chart are MAX times. Once you get into a little bit of a groove with this practice you’ll notice that if your baby isn’t already asleep, your baby’s sleepy signals will start to happen right around or before when that max wake time hits.

Awake time starts the moment they wake up from one sleep, and lasts all the way until they are snugly placed back into their sleep space for the next sleep. This includes the time it takes for nursing or bottle-feeding, even if their eyes are closed. So if baby’s nap routine takes about 15 minutes to go through, your goal is to start the routine about 15 minutes before their max wake time. It is also appropriate to start the routine earlier if you’re noticing that your baby is showing you that they are tired via their sleepy signals.

There are only a few times that we suggest capping naps- 

• If your baby hasn’t met their birth weight or if they are underweight and needing to eat routinely.

• If the wake time following the nap will cut into their bedtime routine.

  • For example- your baby’s nap time is 7pm and their max wake time is 2.5 hours you should have them be awake by 4:30 p.m.

We don’t suggest specific nap times until your baby is several months old. Once you get into a routine with wake times your baby will gradually and naturally fall into specific nap times. It’s always okay to start a bedtime though! We usually suggest 7pm to 7am or 8pm to 8am or somewhere in between right from the start.

PLEASE NOTE- The first nap of the day is going to be a continuation of nighttime sleep, so it will be on the shorter end of the max wake time. It may also be the most quality nap of the day. This is the perfect time for parents to get more sleep themselves after a long night. As the day goes on, baby will naturally be able to stay awake and alert a little longer. Naps typically become a little shorter, and you will hit the tail end of that max wake time later in the afternoon/evening. 

OUR GAME-CHANGER NAP TIP

READY FOR IT?!?! Baby sleeps in their same sleeping space for daytime AND overnight! Many parents think that saving the crib or bassinet for only nighttime signals to their baby that it’s time for the “good sleep,” When, in reality, all sleep- daytime naps and nighttime sleep- should try to happen in the same place regardless of the time on the clock. 

Now, we get life happens and you won’t always be at home when baby needs a nap so don’t stress about those circumstances. You need to live! Make it your goal to have baby in their designated sleep space whenever you are home, as often as possible.

are you tired yet?

We know, we know…this is an abundance of baby sleep tips and information. We promise to break it down even more in the future through easily consumable mediums- and not just newborn sleep! Whether you are our birth client, postpartum client or a social media/blog follower, our goal this year is to bring comfort and rest into your home- no matter where you live.

FINAL THOUGHTS- This isn’t a promise that after implementing these steps that your newborn will be sleeping through the night. Not even close. Why? Because newborns shouldn’t be sleeping through the night! Every person has a job and responsibilities, and a newborn’s job is to eat- and eat often. Our goal in sharing our tried and true sleep tips with you today is to help you build a routine and establish solid sleep habits now...which will help your little nugget a few months down the road. Your future self will thank you!

If you are at the point now where you want in-person and gentle support establishing a good sleep routine- like yesterday- give us a call! We proudly offer daytime and overnight postpartum support for families in Central Indiana. Sleep begets sleep, and we are here to help your whole family get some quality shut-eye.

Here’s to sweet dreams- for everyone!

*AAP Sleep Recommendations 0-12 months

**CPSC Safe Sleep – Cribs and Infant Products Information Center

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